iDon’t Need you Anymore

and you used to be so hot...

Dearest iPhone,

There comes a time when all relationships must come to an end. Good or bad, you come to a fork in the road and whatever your choice you have to make it, and deal with the consequences. We both knew it wasn’t working and its hard breaking up. I just need some space. Some freedom to control my own background. I… I need to multitask. Apple, maybe we could still be friends, but seriously we both know that will never work, and it would be weird. We’ve hurt each other too much. You know I loved you.

You see, I found someone new. Her name is DROID and she’s open source, and well… More athletic than you. The way she snaps from app to app is something you never had. Not to mention she has GTalk built in, syncs my contacts over the internet, and she’s more accepting of my own personal freedom to choose how I interface with her memory and file system. She uses standards, like Micro USB, and Micro SD Cards, and doesn’t require iTunes to be installed in every bedroom we interface in. Let’s face it; you were so rude to Linux when he came over… You acted like you were above him or something. So sad cause you were from the same tree.

Her screen is brighter, higher resolution. Not trying to be rude, but just perkier. Not even mentioning how hot she looks in her media cradle doubling as my alarm clock. Your little white cradle, even though I told you it was hot, never did it for me. The way she downloaded all my contacts from Gmail and merged them with Facebook, I just didn’t even need you anymore. She merges things without me even needing to explain it to her. It’s like she thinks for me, and in this day and age, I appreciate a good intellectual.

I mean… I know… You’ll improve over time and the next time I see you in public you’ll look great. You definitely tried to be kinky when I jailbroke you with BlackRa1n. I’m sorry… maybe it’s just me, but having iTunes forever in our lives kills the relationship. You’ll never be the one.

So this is goodbye, and you’ve been a good girl, but everything you didn't, DROID DOES, and I just don’t need you anymore.

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